Do you ever feel like you’re stuck? Repeating the same thing over and over like it’s another version of the movie Groundhog Day?
Out of high school I had no idea what I wanted to do and no one really showed me a “path” to take in what I was good at. I was always a naturally gifted artist, but I only took two art classes in the span of 4 years and when it came to business, I maxed out on classes and only took them my senior year. I didn’t apply to any of the big colleges because I wasn’t particularly good at the rest of my classes so I did what most kids do out of high school and went to community college.
Community college can be a great stepping stone for many looking to advance to a 4-year school or maybe something else but for me it wasn’t the path I was destined for. After a failed attempt at a 2-year degree I decided to focus on work, which had nothing to do with photography, design or marketing.
It was only in my downtime where I messed with programs like Photoshop and for over 15 years have been teaching myself the ins and outs of everything photography, design and marketing.
But why do I feel like I’m stuck?
For the past 10 years I’ve been honing in on what my strengths and weaknesses are and I’ve gotten to a point where I like to think of myself as a highly skilled, career driven person but I guess that’s where the problem is…
How do you measure your own self worth?
One of my biggest pet peeves are of people that think too highly on themselves, so naturally I want to make sure I check myself before I open myself up to the same criticism. Being able to gauge my own self worth to make sure I’m being compensated fairly is probably my biggest flaw. The fact that I make less now than I did 10 years ago is one of the many reasons why I started side businesses. I needed to find a way to supplement my income to help support my family and myself.
But why is that? After 10 years you would think with the skill-sets I’ve managed to focus on that I would be worth much more than that? That’s probably true but like I said, I’m terrible at determining my own self worth and I have no idea how to fix that. Because of this and the side work and businesses I’ve started, stress and pressure have mounted to an all-time high. I still want to perform and do the best I can in my profession, but without growth and a planned future I see myself repeating the same routine I’ve been stuck in the past 10 years.
Stop thinking so negative! I’m told.
When history hasn’t shown me anything other than negative growth when it comes to my career it’s hard to sit back and wait for the positive. The stress I put on myself just to keep up has built up so much that I feel it falling back down on me. I’ve seen people destroyed by stress, businesses fail, friends and family lost and I refuse to let stress destroy me but it’s going to require change.
I just know that I have a lot of thinking, work and decisions to make in the coming months and if I can’t figure out what my self worth is, then I’m just going to repeat this process all over again.